Please Stop Talking about my Child's Red Hair!

 Dear friends,

I am trying hard to raise a confident young girl who feels comfortable in her own skin and hair and when you make comments about her red hair, your little comment, as innocent as it may seem, is slowly eating away at her self esteem. Yes, she has beautiful red hair and we appreciate the compliment. What you don't realize is your comment is not the first comment today, or perhaps in the last 5 minutes, and after awhile it gets old. 

When we are out in public a day doesn't go by that someone, if not EVERYONE, comments on my daughters beautiful red locks.  I even hear people talk about it among themselves as if we don't hear you! What makes people think that it is appropriate to comment on a person's looks, or even worse, talk about them along side of them  

As a mother to a red head, I feel I need to stand up for her.  

The other day we were spending time at the library minding our own business.  While I was playing trains with my son, my sweet little 18 month old girl was rocking on a wooden horse.  Right in front of her were two women talking about how "orange" her hair was. I instantly got offended because I don't know about you but when I think of a pretty color "orange" is not first on my list.  If you are going to the salon you are not going to ask for "orange" hair.   What makes adults think they can talk about a sweet little girl right in front of her.  If that wasn't bad enough, they continued to say how she will probably "hate" her hair when she gets older.  WHAT!  I couldn't believe my ears.  Was this conversation truly happening in front of an innocent child.  She hears you! She doesn't need words like this placed in her head.  She knows you're talking about her hair. She knows everyone thinks to comment about her hair and I'm sure it's getting old. 

 Well as this girls mother, I am asking you to stop.  It's comments like this that will make it hard for her to love her hair and I am trying hard to raise a confident girl who feels comfortable in her own skin and hair!

  

"Look at that red hair" is not a compliment.  It's a statement.  Please stop!

While peddling a bicycle with my little ones in tow a lady shouts to her husband, "hey look at that baby's red hair".  Really!  Would it be appropriate for me to say, " hey look at that lady's gray hair"?  No, I don't think so!

Stop stereotyping red heads!  No, a temper does not come from having red hair! 

We talk a lot about bullying and how important it is for our children to respect others and not stereotype people by their looks, so please stop with the red headed jokes and comments.  

My jaw dropped the other day when I looked on my Facebook page and someone on our neighborhood Facebook page had the nerve to use the old saying "redheaded stepdaughter" as a comment to make his point across on a situation.  Are you serious!?!  Why are people still using that old, outdated saying and getting away with it!  Find something more appropriate. Quit making red heads feel like outcasts!  You would never say something about a person's looks based on their race and just in case you didn't know, red hair does come from a type of race so STOP with the racial slurs!  I'm trying to raise a confident girl who feels comfortable in her own skin and hair!

Quit making red heads feel like outcasts! 

Don't get me wrong, I know many of you are truly commenting because she is adorable and unique.  Yes my sweet little girl is a rare beauty.  Less than 2 percent of the world's population is red haired and blue eyed!  So yes, she's a rare gem but as a mother and protector of this little being, let's be cautious on how we use our words.  We want her to feel confident and receiving comments about your hair on a daily basis could have a negative effect on her growing self esteem.

Less than 2 percent of the world's population is red haired and blue eyed! 

Please know that yes you can compliment a red head, we all need compliments.  But maybe rethink your words.  Instead of making a statement on how red someone's hair is, maybe just tell them they have pretty hair.  

As any mother of a red head can contest, we are over joyed that you love our child's hair but after awhile we need a break.  Yes it's red hair, and yes it's rare, but she's just a girl minding her own business.  Save the comment!  

Thank you,

Mom of a sweet little girl!