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Please Stop Talking about my Child's Red Hair!

 Dear friends,

I am trying hard to raise a confident young girl who feels comfortable in her own skin and hair and when you make comments about her red hair, your little comment, as innocent as it may seem, is slowly eating away at her self esteem. Yes, she has beautiful red hair and we appreciate the compliment. What you don't realize is your comment is not the first comment today, or perhaps in the last 5 minutes, and after awhile it gets old. 

When we are out in public a day doesn't go by that someone, if not EVERYONE, comments on my daughters beautiful red locks.  I even hear people talk about it among themselves as if we don't hear you! What makes people think that it is appropriate to comment on a person's looks, or even worse, talk about them along side of them  


As a mother to a red head, I feel I need to stand up for her.  


The other day we were spending time at the library minding our own business.  While I was playing trains with my son, my sweet little 18 month old girl was rocking on a wooden horse.  Right in front of her were two women talking about how "orange" her hair was. I instantly got offended because I don't know about you but when I think of a pretty color "orange" is not first on my list.  If you are going to the salon you are not going to ask for "orange" hair.   What makes adults think they can talk about a sweet little girl right in front of her.  If that wasn't bad enough, they continued to say how she will probably "hate" her hair when she gets older.  WHAT!  I couldn't believe my ears.  Was this conversation truly happening in front of an innocent child.  She hears you! She doesn't need words like this placed in her head.  She knows you're talking about her hair. She knows everyone thinks to comment about her hair and I'm sure it's getting old. 

 Well as this girls mother, I am asking you to stop.  It's comments like this that will make it hard for her to love her hair and I am trying hard to raise a confident girl who feels comfortable in her own skin and hair!
  

"Look at that red hair" is not a compliment.  It's a statement.  Please stop!


While peddling a bicycle with my little ones in tow a lady shouts to her husband, "hey look at that baby's red hair".  Really!  Would it be appropriate for me to say, " hey look at that lady's gray hair"?  No, I don't think so!

Stop stereotyping red heads!  No, a temper does not come from having red hair! 


We talk a lot about bullying and how important it is for our children to respect others and not stereotype people by their looks, so please stop with the red headed jokes and comments.  

My jaw dropped the other day when I looked on my Facebook page and someone on our neighborhood Facebook page had the nerve to use the old saying "redheaded stepdaughter" as a comment to make his point across on a situation.  Are you serious!?!  Why are people still using that old, outdated saying and getting away with it!  Find something more appropriate. Quit making red heads feel like outcasts!  You would never say something about a person's looks based on their race and just in case you didn't know, red hair does come from a type of race so STOP with the racial slurs!  I'm trying to raise a confident girl who feels comfortable in her own skin and hair!

Quit making red heads feel like outcasts! 



Don't get me wrong, I know many of you are truly commenting because she is adorable and unique.  Yes my sweet little girl is a rare beauty.  Less than 2 percent of the world's population is red haired and blue eyed!  So yes, she's a rare gem but as a mother and protector of this little being, let's be cautious on how we use our words.  We want her to feel confident and receiving comments about your hair on a daily basis could have a negative effect on her growing self esteem.

Less than 2 percent of the world's population is red haired and blue eyed! 


Please know that yes you can compliment a red head, we all need compliments.  But maybe rethink your words.  Instead of making a statement on how red someone's hair is, maybe just tell them they have pretty hair.  

As any mother of a red head can contest, we are over joyed that you love our child's hair but after awhile we need a break.  Yes it's red hair, and yes it's rare, but she's just a girl minding her own business.  Save the comment!  

Thank you,
Mom of a sweet little girl!






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96 comments

  1. Wow - I didn't know less than 2% of the population is red-haired/blue-eyed. She's beautiful, btw. :)

    I have a blogger friend who had 4 kids and 3 of them have red hair, also. The 4th one is blonde.

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  2. I had red hair when I was little, and hoped my kids would too :D Mine went from auburn to brown, and my kids blonde is a little darker every day.

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    Replies
    1. It's interesting how our hair changes with age. My son is very blonde. I need to save a lock of my children's hair so they can see how it changed over the years.

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  3. People are just so RUDE. I personally love the combo and my family has lots of auburn hues. I hope she grows up to know it's a great asset I hope she always treasures!

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  4. I'm the daughter of a red-haired, blue-eyed woman, and I always thought my mom's hair color looked beautiful on her. I hope your daughter doesn't grow up to hate her hair color because of comments made by other people. Redheads are just as beautiful as blondes and brunettes. And, hey, we all end up gray someday anyway!

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  5. This is a great post. I love how you wrote it for those people who say things and to "warn" us. I have been wanting to write this same kind of post. Recently I had ankle surgery so I've had to ride those carts around grocery stores. I can't believe the way adults look at me or stare at me. It makes me so uncomfortable. I may just write that post after reading this. Thank you!

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    Replies
    1. Thank you! Yes Rachel please write it! I can't wait to read it. I don't like to come across as harsh in this post but I truly feel passionate about how some of these comments have made me feel and may make her feel some day. There's every side to a story and we need to share our side.

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  6. She is perfect and good for you for standing up for her. I use to get upset when random people would try to touch or kiss, Faith. Or, make the rude comment that she sure doesn't look like you.

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    Replies
    1. It made me sad also when people would say my daughter doesn't look like me. They still say that but I think she does!

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  7. Oh my! I hate how people can be so rude! She's perfect the way she is!

    Belle | One Awesome Momma

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  8. Damn, can't believe some people can be that rude. Lots of love for you and your child.

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  9. My son is a bit short and we're constantly hearing how "little" he is. Sit down, he's perfect!

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    Replies
    1. Right! Leave him alone. I feel the same about big babies. People need to stop judging children. It's hurtful and does not set a good example.

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  10. We have a mutual friend who sent me a link to your post after I posted something similar on facebook. My son is a beautiful boy with red hair and fair skin. I get more comments than I can count on a daily basis any time I leave the house. They range from comments to insults and would like to raise the same awareness about this issue. I think your daughter is beautiful and I am so happy to know there are other mother's out there who have had enough of this "ginger stereotyping". :-) Thank you!

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    Replies
    1. I am so happy you can relate. I was hesitant on posting this. I didn't want to offend anyone and then I thought... people really need to hear this. I think I will continue to push this. I've heard some awful comments and for some reason I don't understand why people think it's ok to say these things. These are innocent children and it really is hurtful.

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  11. Great insight! I think a lot of people just don't think before they do or speak, especially when it comes to babies. One thing that gets me sometimes is people coming up and touching my boys. They're twins, so people tend to notice them, but I don't see what makes them think they can just walk over and touch them? Anyway, I loved reading this!

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    Replies
    1. This raising another good point. You would never walk up and touch an adults face so please don't touch a childs. It's so inappropriate. Hands off!

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  12. People can be so rude sometimes! I get it for being skinny all the time..but I'm an adult! if you're going to be rude, at least dont do it to a child!

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    Replies
    1. Yes we all need to stop judging people in general. For some reason since you are skinny they think it's ok to say something since it's not saying you are fat. But if you ask me, judging is judging. We don't need to hear everyone's opinions

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  13. I myself am guilty of this. I love red hair, but I will rethink my word choice in the future. Your little one is beautiful. Thanks for sharing!

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    Replies
    1. I think we are all guilty of this at times. Before I had a daughter with red hair, I've made my own comments. Now I'm on the other end and it's given me a different perspective. Most times it is an innocent compliment we receive. The thing is, it is all the time and it starts to get to be too much.

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  14. Everyone used to comment on how petite my daughter was and it drove me absolutely up a wall. I hear ya.

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    Replies
    1. Maybe my next post will be about how to stop judging children and their looks!

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